I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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