who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
