i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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