since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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