I showed him my bush... on skype.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
