is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Randomize
