I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize