Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
