They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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