In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
