In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
