she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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