Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
