Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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