Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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