I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
