Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
