I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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