I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
