In the future we'll all be gay
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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