WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
