There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Be still, my beating vagina.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Randomize
