Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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