break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
