You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
