Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
