I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Randomize
