Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
