i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize