he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
