sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
