DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
