your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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