I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
