Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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