no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Actions speak louder than pants.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
