i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
