I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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