I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
