***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
