I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Just puked most of my soul out..
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