just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
My day in three words: secret purse cake
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
