i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
