she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
