I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
