the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
