I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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