in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I need to align my fucking chakras
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
