We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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