I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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