So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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